For the #QUEEN & HER BUNCH OF JOKERS , @ 10 #Downing Street , London

ANURADHA KHANDELWAL

Dear Queen E, PM @ 10 Downing Street, The KING in Eternal Waiting Charles and the complete Royal WRECKS….House of Lords House of Commons…and the dry stiff upper lip English Folk

You came to India 270 years ago without a visa and without a “May we please”…..we welcomed you becoz as Indians we believed in Athithi Devo Bhayo…as we still do. …meaning a guest is like God Himself in Disguise.

You overstayed your welcome did we say anything ? NO.
Then you played dirty politics did we say anything ? NO.
You ruled us turning us into slaves in our own country and we didnt say a word. We were meek mild and peace loving people.
You took our Kohinoor and did we say anything ? NO.
But you killed looted and made a mockery of us and we could take no more. You made us fight your wars and we shed blood for a war in which we had nothing to gain…all we did was lose young lives.
You were thrown out of the country without any bloodshed but even as you left you divided us and left a bloody trail on your way out. Did we say anything ? NO
But you still didnt leave us alone. You got thousands of Indian to migrate to the UK to do your dirty jobs and even there you treated us like second class citizens. Did we say anything NO.
You made our Mother tongue a second language did we say anything ? NO
You left a whole generation of Indians who were clueless as to who they were..a brown sahib or a home grown Indian ?

You bastardized our language, our food, our clothes, our religion, our customs our habits our perceptions our pretty much everything…and yet we threw you out !
Every country that you ruled threw you out….Have you ever thought WHY ?
Its time to do a reality check…and do it fast people !

Indians like London as a holiday destination…ever wondered why ? Because all of us have had British History…War of Roses, Henry I to Henry VIII shoved down our throats…we probably know more about you then you know about yourself . But now as a rich upcoming nation we want to see and want our children to see you in your own grounds. And since you have given us Cricket which is a craze with us every self respecting Indian wants to go to Lords…its like a pilgrimage. And we are at home in London….oh ! stop curling your stiff upper lip anymore it will crack !…becoz its familiar territory, has enough Indian Food…and anyway, didnt we read about chicken tikka masala being your National Food ?..and enough Indians ! And we like familiarity wherever we go.

Plus you really cant afford to shop at Harrods and Selfridges…We can ! Oh yes ! the bitter truth …swallow it with your cuppa !

And if we dont drink or buy your Scotch and Single Malts your fine breweries will shut down….yes ! another bitter pill…swallow it with your pint !
Coz you can afford only that while we hard working Indians glug glug on your finest !
So to make it short and sweet and hit you where it hurts…we Indians are holding up your economy…and yet you give us a run around for the visas ? Are you guys warped in your head…Oh that you are ! Otherwise you would still be ruling the world…now all you have is a tiny island and the stolen Kohinoor ! We have the money, we speak better English than you, we are more educated and we spend….So we call the shots here…get it ?

No no…you guys never learn..Take a lesson from USA…Every step to get your visa is streamlined and in two minutes you know wether you have got a visa or not. But you guys think you are too good to even speak to us ….You hide behind an iron curtain , a faceless cold persona that is inaccessable…Once the passport is given to the VFS…all we do is twiddle our thumbs. You take 500 Rs extra to give us mobile updates…nothing ever comes of it….not even one message. We cant call anyone…and there is a number which is a London number which says please deposit x pounds before you can speak to someone….Gosh !! you are quite broke ! I dont blame you…what with the upkeep of the Queen and her kids and their kids and their kids and their nannies…and their mistresses and boyfriends and divorces and wild parties..there isnt much left to go around !!

So you try and get it from folks applying for a visa…keep the money deny them a visa…cool way …but then the problem is not the visa…the passport you hold onto interminably…and give people the run around…Is that your way of deriving sadistic pleasure….? Whats with you guys ? Why cant you just have a system like the USA…why dont you get off your high horse and learn new things …? Oh ! hasnt anyone told you that you guys no longer rule the world ? Ohoh ! dont look so shocked…you seriously didnt know ? That the sun does not rise or set in the British Empire ? What Empire…hahahaha !!! even smaller than one state in India….Baat kartey hain !!! Brits live under illusions and delusions….and now I think dementia is setting in too ! Oh ! and even Ireland / Scotland/ Wales/ dont want to have anything to do with you and Australia & NZ too……I cant help but gloat and say those famous lines from Sholay…Ab tera kya hoga gora ?

British High Commission…please understand. People here work for a living and we guys dont have dole. People plan holidays in advance book tickets in advance and take leave from work in advance…then they apply for a UK Visa much in advance…yet even after reading their travel dates you dont give them their passports in time. The we have to cancel all our flight tickets and bookings made online ….have you no compassion ? Or maybe you dont know how the three R’s…come join one of our convent schools and you will have perfect knowledge of reading writing and arithmetic !…And that stiff upper lip…gosh someone please smash a fist into it once and for all !

Another point…Why would any happy Indian living under a hot Indian Sun with servants to do work and drivers to drive their fancy cars want to go and live in London ? Dreary gloomy grey weather…cold…and cold unsmiling faces in blacks and greys….get over yourself Brits !! Stop looking at every brown colored person with suspicion….You are not superior ! And your country doesnt have much to offer…earlier at least there was Diana…now toh woh bhi nahin hai…Hamarey pass MNC’s, Computer Savvy population, a buzzing economy and sunshine hai…tumharey pass kya hai ??? One small voice from the British Isle says…Hamarey pass Queen hai !!!! Indians double up laughing…much to the annoyance of the Brits….they laugh and laugh…and finally one of them says..Hamarey pass toh woh Queen hai jisne London Thumka diya ….!!!

Hello Queen …..hello…Lizzie…hello…why are you hiding ???